North America has had an increase in disasters the last decade, both natural (like floods, fires, and hurricanes) and manmade (like school shootings, bomb threats, and active shooters). The acute pandemic as well as the ongoing Long COVID are also major natural disasters.

Disasters leave us with multiple layers of grief over loss:

• through death of people and pets. We might even feel the death of those we knew in passing (the dog that lived in the corner house, the person who worked at the grocery)
• of our normal routines 
• of safety
• of trust
• of our possessions or homes
• of community buildings and spaces

That can be just the first wave!

Grief is normal, natural, and necessary for humans and animals. Living things grieve!

Months afterwards we might need to move house, to a different section of town, to another city, or even another state. Even if this is a choice, it's still a change and so it's a loss. Many relationships are changed after a disaster, too, even if friendships and marriages survive. Some people may also find themselves months or years later with ongoing injuries or suicides to handle, too. 

Grief and traumas can become intermingled and it's hard to find light.

It's completely common to have many emotions at once, including

• anger
• frustration
• sorrow
• guilt
• shame
• regret
• relief

Grief is about a broken heart not a broken brain. Our heart can be broken for quite a while and can be re-broken  before they're even healed. While everyone grieves differently, we need help and support healing our hearts after grief.

We might also feel a grief at the loss of control and loss of respect. If you have ever dealt with large companies or corporations like insurance companies or health care systems, you know that it's a full-time job for many months to file claims, be heard, get help, get support, and get financial aid. The processes rarely are hopeful or respectful or focused on our health and healing. It's about their processes not our needs.

On top of this many of us have to pay so much attention to our physical needs after a disaster, that we may not have time to grieve at all for years. That's a problem since unresolved grief accumulates. If it continues to stay "stuck" it may become complex grief or post-traumatic-stress.

BUT THERE IS HOPE!!! Here's what we know:

• grief can be healed to a level we can live with
• it's never healed alone
• healing is an active process
• it's an ongoing process
• we can feel joy again

One of the reasons we at Sea & Z Healing Foundation offer ongoing grief support groups is because we know that grief doesn't run on a calendar and you don't need more forms to fill out and hopes to jump through.

The pain of Helen is fresh for the U.S. right now, and as we write this Milton is getting ready to make landfall as a Category 5 hurricane. We're sending love, strength, prayers, and we'll be here with ongoing grief support for the years to come.

Stay Safe!

Much Love,
Laura

​P.S. Please contact us for specialized grief support groups for your community or groups, including first responders.

Below is the U.S. Government publication "Tips For Survivors: Coping with Grief After A Disaster or Traumatic Event" the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

Yesterday October 7, 2024 marked one year of Israel's war in Gaza. Many people are displaced and their lives completely rearranged. Whether you have a personal connection directly to someone living in the Middle East, it impacts your friends, or you provide support or relief services to the area, the war brings grief. 

The Ukraine has been fighting Russia's invasion and attacks for three years now. People losing those they love, watching their land get demolished, losing animals, and loss of their daily life. The grief mounts.

Politics aside there is a world-wide impact of this war, and there is grief on all sides as well as those watching.

It's common to go toward the intellectual here or even the generational, arguing what's right and wrong. But again, these are arguments for the head. Grief is not about a broken brain. It's about a broken heart.

The other common tendency is to compare grief, decide yours is less than or less direct than another's grief, and bury your feelings. 

Everyone has a right to grieve over war. Even if it feels far away from you, or someone "has it worse," you have a right to grieve.

Some grief might be direct over death or loss of relationship and others can be less obvious but more persistent.

You might be grief on several levels, too: anger at a higher power, distrust of others, losing hope, loss of sense of the world "getting worse," and a change in some personal relationships. 

The key is to allow yourself time to feel the feelings, not stuff them down. Acknowledge how the feelings impact your life and your heart. Voice your feelings to another safe person for the sake of being heard, not being fixed. And allow yourself to adjust to the new way life.

The most important thing to remember about grief is to not handle it alone. Grief doesn't just get better with time. We don't just "get past it." We have to actively process it and get help adjusting to our new reality, without losing our heart or our hope.

Much Love, 
Laura

P.S. If you want to offer safe, ongoing, affordable grief groups for the healing and mental health of your workforce or community, please contact us to help your people start healing right away.